OPIN-ION
Water is the source of life, it’s also the source of firefighting power. It’s like a superpower, spray enough of it on a fire and the fires goes out. It’s freaking magic.
But the LA fire department and the major of LA don’t believe in this superpower. They believe that if you’re the correct race and correct gender to respond to the emergency (be sure to tell your 911 operator your chosen race/gender) then all they have to do is just show up and take some pics. But no worries, most times they won’t even show up, cause fire is scary and shit.
Oh, and don’t worry about your hurt husband that needs to be carried out of your burning house, the totally woke LA firefighter will just respond “well, you shouldn’t have put him in that place, you need to get him out,” and never mind that you’re 5′ 7″ and 120 lbs. and your husband, who got hurt trying to save your house, is only at 6′ 3″ and 250 lbs. you can do it!
Tomorrow’s topic: dry fire hydrants.
Respectfully
The Editors
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